you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
