Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her. http://tfl.nu/3bi4
  Replies (60) Good night (4289) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation. http://tfl.nu/5hwm
  Replies (162) Good night (1342) Bad night (6965)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed. http://tfl.nu/da2p
  Replies (13) Good night (4990) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1272) Bad night (4638)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage. http://tfl.nu/1an1
  Replies (3) Good night (2400) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me... http://tfl.nu/rukw
  Replies (2) Good night (2176) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again. http://tfl.nu/uwyc
  Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads http://tfl.nu/11ei
  Replies (4) Good night (2522) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls. http://tfl.nu/rbr1
  Replies (13) Good night (4033) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from. http://tfl.nu/t77t
  Replies (19) Good night (1175) Bad night (1982)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/o6qd
  Replies (5) Good night (1326) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team http://tfl.nu/khyn
  Replies (1) Good night (771) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay? (1-304): Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime. http://tfl.nu/2vyh
  Replies (6) Good night (1631) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny

  (480): View more from Arizona

  speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny (480): speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about http://tfl.nu/mm1p
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking http://tfl.nu/ygys
  Replies (0) Good night (740) Bad night (439)

Randomize