i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?