Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

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  (703): There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it.... http://tfl.nu/mny7
  Replies (14) Good night (800) Bad night (2178)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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  (901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak
  Replies (15) Good night (645) Bad night (2394)
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  (716): View more from New York

  once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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  (716): once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party http://tfl.nu/h6v5
  Replies (10) Good night (965) Bad night (3924)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3752) Bad night (941)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.

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  (503): well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up. http://tfl.nu/zf7z
  Replies (16) Good night (1160) Bad night (4239)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (2976) Bad night (967)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...

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  (978): you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool... http://tfl.nu/os9w
  Replies (14) Good night (5114) Bad night (1634)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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  (434): i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level http://tfl.nu/1fd3
  Replies (11) Good night (3026) Bad night (1670)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?

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  (205): remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/cz0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1636) Bad night (907)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

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  (480): We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet http://tfl.nu/q54w
  Replies (5) Good night (1642) Bad night (576)
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  (585): View more from New York

  And I feel bad.

  (716): View more from New York

  Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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  (585): And I feel bad. (716): Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft? http://tfl.nu/a3w7
  Replies (7) Good night (1771) Bad night (869)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom

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  (917): no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom http://tfl.nu/ipdy
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (575)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

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  (304): It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town. http://tfl.nu/067f
  Replies (14) Good night (694) Bad night (958)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.

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  (614): when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs. http://tfl.nu/t3w8
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (371)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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  (206): If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on? http://tfl.nu/dsww
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (534)

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