haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo