if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
