What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
