last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
