I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
