An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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