Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
