see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
