It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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