What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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