we're chasing vodka with high fives
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
