I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
