I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
