Me too!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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