someone threw a dead crab at me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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