That's when you crack a 10am beer
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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