but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
