you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
