my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
