I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
