she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
