I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
