Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
