I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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