Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
