i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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