Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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