like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
