she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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