haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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