btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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