she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
