so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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