Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
