I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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