Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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