You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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