Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
