I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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