Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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