It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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