I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.