I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
