just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
