Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
