In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
