Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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