These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
