If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
