And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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