I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
