she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
