I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
