I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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