Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
