I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize