im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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