I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
