I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize