can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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